Me After You Read online

  He merely shakes his head with a humored expression and sits down.

  “Well,” I sigh. “I don’t feel comfortable with you doing it for free.”

  “All right,” he agrees. “Then how about in exchange for taking care of your car, you make me a batch of your famous Reese’s Pieces cookies.”

  “Seriously?” That’s it?

  “It’s been ages since I had them. I think I’ve been patient for long enough.”

  I hadn’t made Reese’s Pieces cookies since I last made them for him. It was the only thing I could make in high school. What could be better than peanut butter, chocolate, and cookies? Nothing. And Dean agreed.

  A chuckle escapes as I shake my head at him. “Okay. Sounds simple enough. One batch of Reese’s cookies coming right up.”

  “Deal.” He holds his hand out over his desk for me to shake, and I take it.

  The handshake should feel completely platonic and all business, but the moment our hands touch, I swear fire shoots up my arm. I attempt to cover the shaken look in my eyes, but when Dean’s eyes turn heated, I know I’m not the only one who feels it. I yank my hand back, unable to remain cool and unaffected. It’s so obvious that he made me nervous, I feel like a total idiot.

  “Well,” I say, “I’ll drop some off tomorrow. I’ve got to get to work now.”

  He nods once, but doesn’t say anything more as I race out the door as fast as my feet will carry me without breaking into a full out sprint.

  DEAN

  A WEEK LATER, I sit with a stack of invoices an inch thick piled on the side of my desk. Business has really started to pick up since Jerry Drake came to the shop. Soon I’ll have to hire more mechanics and only be able to handle selling the bikes and running the business end of things. There won’t be time for much else, which almost makes me second-guess my answer to Rob. I thought it was the right decision to make. I know he was disappointed when I shot him down, but I couldn’t sell my garage. This place is more of a home than the house I live in. But the look on Sawyer’s face when she talked about the bakery… I’d sell my garage for her. I’d sell my garage to get that bakery for her.

  I take a bite of one of the cookies Sawyer dropped off the other day. It bummed me out because I didn’t see her. I was in the garage with Aiden, and when I came back to my office, the cookies were in the middle of my desk, plated perfectly with no other sign she was here. If she was back to completely avoiding me, she had another thing coming, because I wasn’t about to let that happen.

  The cookies are as good as I remember, if not better. It’s very possible that she’s gotten better at baking. She’s always had a knack for it, which makes her working at Sprinkles so fitting. That place is perfect for her.

  “Hey,” Aiden prompts from the doorway of my office. “Sawyer is sick. We should bring her some flowers.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I finagled it out of Alix. She’s over there now.” He lifts his shoulders with a smug grin.

  “Alix still hasn’t agreed to go out with you,” I say suspiciously. “Why did she tell you about Sawyer?”

  “It passed in conversation, and I knew it would be a perfect opportunity for you to make a nice gesture. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Just that you heard about her being ill and were thinking about her. Chicks eat that crap up.”

  “If I had known, I would have brought her something anyway, but thank you for the heads up.” I look back to my computer screen.

  “No.” Aide steps in. “I’m basically handing this competition over to you. Sawyer. Platter. Take it. Now.”

  “First of all, there is no competition, and you know it. Second, I will go. I just have a ton of crap to do first. I’ll be done in a couple hours, and then we can go.”

  “You’re killing me, Dean. We have to go now. Alix is there. It’s a perfect opportunity for me to run into her.”

  “So the truth comes out.” I narrow my gaze at him and grunt a chuckle. “You’re using me.”

  “Yes. Shamelessly, I am.”

  “Just let me finish this report real quick.” I tap my keyboard, attempting to get my numbers in.

  “There’s no time for that.” He places his hand over mine, stopping me. “I don’t know how much longer Alix will be there. You can finish the report when we get back.”

  I laugh. It’s not a secret that he likes Alix, but it really sets in now. If I push him hard enough, he might get down on his hands and knees and beg. It’s really tempting. “You’ve got it so bad, Aide.”

  “And I’ll have her eating out of the palm of my hand before I’m done with her.”

  “Please tell me you’re just spewing out crap, and that you don’t actually believe the words that are coming out of your mouth.”

  “Yeah.” He grins. “She’ll totally walk all over me, and I’ll love every minute of it.”

  My amusement continues as I save my documents on my computer and get up. “All right. Let’s go, cupid. I’ve got a sick girl to visit.”

  SAWYER

  MY THROAT IS on fire, and my head has little dwarves crawling around inside, throwing a rave. Someone knocks on the front door and rings the doorbell. If my mom hadn’t been expecting a package I needed to sign for I wouldn’t have answered the door.

  When I peek through the peephole and see who’s on the other side of my front door I tug my robe a little tighter around myself.

  Dean and Aiden smile when I crack open the door.

  “Hey,” I greet, brushing the dingy hair from my face. “What are you two doing here?”

  “I wanted to stop by to make sure you were okay,” Dean says. “We heard you weren’t feeling well.”

  I swallow. “Oh, thanks. I—”

  “She’s great because I’m here,” Alix chimes over my shoulder.

  “Alix,” Dean acknowledges with a close-lipped smile and purses his lips in a way that tells me he’s waiting for her snarky response.

  I peer back at her, and her expression changes as soon as she realizes Dean isn’t alone. Her haughty smile turns into a frown.

  “Preston,” she says. “Ballard.” Her voice lowers with annoyance, but I see right through her.

  “Hey, Alix.” Aiden beams. He’s so asking for it.

  “We didn’t mean to interrupt.” Dean sounds apologetic.

  “Dean wanted to bring these.” Aiden holds out a bouquet of white lilies. A little ironic if you ask me.

  “Aiden insisted we couldn’t come empty handed,” Dean adds.

  “Oh… well, thanks, you guys.” I almost bite my tongue, but the words come out before I can think twice. “Do you want to come in?”

  Aiden shoots a smirk behind me so I assume Alix is shooting him a death glare or daring him to take one step closer. Dean’s eyes shift between Alix and me, but then he finally decides. “It’s all right. Just get some rest, if Alix will allow it. We’ll catch up later.”

  “Okay.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean, Preston?” Alix snorts.

  “Nothing. Just having the two of you together is never a quiet environment.” He glances at me with a knowing smile. I know he’s referring to anywhere Alix is, but we only share the look.

  I thought it would be more awkward to see him here than it is. I’m actually disappointed he said no. Though Aiden and Alix seem to take some of that edge off. They’re like a buffer.

  “I’m an amazing caretaker, I’ll have you know,” Alix says. “She’ll be begging for me when I leave.” She crosses her arms, daring either of them to say otherwise. Only Dean knows better.

  “Or begging for you to leave. Bye, ladies.” Aiden winks, and I know Alix is going to blow a gasket when I close the door.

  “See ya,” I say.

  Dean waves timidly as I shut the door. I bring the lilies to my nose and inhale.

  “He’s such a tool!” Alix screams and I laugh.

  “I think he’s charming. And I’m almost positive he heard you.”

  “Hold on. We are
talking about the same guy here, right? Though, I’m not okay with you calling either of them charming.”

  I roll my eyes and walk to the kitchen to put the flowers in water. “I was talking about Aiden.”

  “I don’t know if that’s better or worse,” she scoffs.

  “He likes you, Alix. Just give the poor guy a break.”

  “Just like you’re giving Dean a break?” Her eyebrow lifts, calling me out.

  “I’m not giving anyone a break. Dean has Lily. We’re friends.”

  “You don’t want to be just friends anymore, Sawyer. I’m not blind. And you know what, if that’s what you want I won’t stop you. But he’s always had trouble written all over him.”

  I exhale and arrange the lilies in a clear vase before setting them in the center of the counter. I head for the living room. “Alix, what part of ‘friends’ don’t you understand? Give it a rest.”

  “I won’t give it a rest, Sawyer, because I know you love him. You’re lying to yourself if you don’t see that you still do. And as much as it scares me to see you give your heart to him again, I don’t think he ever really gave it back.”

  I collapse on the couch with my hand across my eyes to block out some light… and to block her out a little bit. The dwarves are pounding with a vengeance. Can’t they go mine for coal somewhere else? “Alix, please stop. It’s not going to happen. There’s too much between us. He’s with Lily now, and I don’t think I could ever fully forgive him.” And he deserves better than a broken me.

  She’s silent for a moment, and I know I’m not going to like what’s about to come out of her mouth. “Sawyer,” she pauses. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but you were a goner the moment you realized he was back.”

  I drop my hand from my eyes and glare at her. She looks earnestly back at me. “You might have been angry and hurt at first, but we all know what he means to you. It was only a matter of time.”

  “I can’t do that to Grayson.”

  “Do what? Sawyer,” she sits down on the couch by my feet, “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but he’s gone. And if you ask me, I know this is exactly what he would want for you. As much as he drives me crazy, Dean makes you happy. Grayson would want you to be happy.”

  “Dean doesn’t know,” I murmur, tears filling my eyes.

  “Then tell him,” she presses, rubbing my feet. “You can’t hold against him what he doesn’t know. That’s probably half of the reason why you can’t completely forgive him. I won’t promise that giving him a chance is a good idea, but it’s time to be honest with him. He knows he betrayed you by leaving, but he doesn’t understand how deep it runs. If you two would talk about everything, there wouldn’t be too much between you. You’re both tiptoeing around each other. I don’t know how you can stand it.”

  “Lily,” I say simply.

  “Screw Lily. She’s not you, and he knows it. There’s no way he’s with her because he wants to be. He’s biding his time until you realize that he’s the only person you could ever be with.”

  “You say that as if you talk to him about this.” I sit up on my elbows. “Please tell me you haven’t talked to Dean behind my back, Felix.”

  “Heck no. Sawyer, it’s like you think I haven’t been around for the last twenty-five years of our lives. I know you and what kind of a person you make Dean. There’s no way he is going to let you walk out of his life without a fight this time. But he’s not stupid. He doesn’t want to scare you. He wants to give you time, as he should.”

  I want to give in, but as soon as I think of giving in, I’m reminded of everything he’s put me through, and it’s so hard to sit here and be okay with it.

  Alix pats my feet and stands. “At least talk to him, Sawyer. You deserve more answers, and he doesn’t deserve to be left in the dark anymore.”

  ***

  I can’t get Dean out of my head. The lilies he gave me eventually die. They were my only connection to him for a week. He hasn’t come to the bakery. I haven’t gone to his shop. We haven’t seen each other in passing while running errands or at the grocery or at Moment in Thyme. Before I would have been counting my blessings, but something in me has changed. I find myself scanning the streets and watching every passerby in front of the bakery window. My ears perk up to exhaust backfiring on a truck or the rumbling of a motorcycle engine in the distance, but it’s never him.

  I walk outside to the trashcan near our garage to throw the lilies away. Before I dump them all, I think twice and save one. It’s wilted and probably won’t even dry nicely, but I want to keep it. It’s a pleasant night, so I settle onto the top porch step and peer up at the starlit sky.

  My brain keeps reminding me that I shouldn’t be thinking about him, that he’s with Lily, and I should forget him, but my heart has other plans. My heart should know better. It was the one that took the real fatal blow, but it doesn’t remember that he was the one who broke us—either that or it doesn’t care.

  But I care. I owe it to Grayson to be a stronger person, to live the life I promised him I would. Letting myself fall for Dean again could be the end of me.

  Or just the beginning.

  A flash shoots across the sky and my heart jolts with excitement. It doesn’t matter how old I get. Shooting stars make me feel like a child seeing Disneyland for the first time. Every time I’m awestruck and amazed.

  The blanket shifts underneath me as I scoot closer to Dean, and he arranges his arm beneath my neck like a pillow, cradling my head in the crook of his shoulder. The bed of his dad’s truck isn’t the most comfortable place to lie down, but we can remain undetected here—unspotted by the rest of the world.

  Dean lives far enough away from town that there are no streetlights to disturb the glimmering sky above us. When I look up, I see nothing but stars for miles and miles. The night encases us. We are a part of the sky.

  Dean’s hand shoots up, pointing into the darkness. “There! Did you see it?” he asks excitedly.

  My eyes dart to where he’s pointing, but I’m obviously too late. “Dang! No, I missed it,” I say.

  His fingers wrapped around my shoulder idly play with the ends of my hair. “Next one. You’ll see the next one.” I feel the touch of his lips on my forehead. “I still can’t believe you’ve never seen a shooting star before,” he murmurs into my hair.

  “I guess I never took the time to look for one before.”

  “Well, we’ve got all the time in the world.”

  “But what if the world ends tomorrow?” I question him wryly.

  “You’re right. The sky could fall down on us right now,” he says seriously, but I hear the hint of sarcasm.

  “That would be really tragic.”

  “It would be,” he says. “But you know what? Even if the sky were falling, and the world as we know it was crumbling to the ground all around us, everything would be okay because I have you. You make me feel safe, Jack.”

  I peer up at him and kiss his clean-shaven jaw. “You make me feel safe, too, Dean. I trust you. I know that you’ll take care of me no matter what.”

  “Did you know that I love you?” His green eyes blink down at me.

  “Yes.” I nod.

  “But I’ve never said it before.”

  “You didn’t have to.” Deans presses his lips to mine once. And again. “You know I love you, too, right?” He smiles. And again.

  “I do now.”

  When we stop kissing, we lie under the stars in silence. And I’m okay with that, because doing nothing with Dean is better than doing something with anyone else.

  A flare of light fires across the sky and I gasp. “Did you see it?” Dean asks.

  I nod into the arc of his shoulder. “It was beautiful.”

  “Sawyer,” Mom startles me. “It’s pitch black. What are you doing out here?” I whirl around as she flips on the porch light. “Are you trying to catch a cold? It’s freezing out here.”

  “It’s not freezing, Mama. It’s perfect. I’ll be in
in a minute.” I turn back and face the stars.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Will you please turn off the light? I can’t see the stars with it on.”

  “All right,” she says, resigned. The light goes out, and the front door closes. I exhale. Lifting my face again toward the night sky, I wait and listen for something in the universe to tell me where I’m supposed to go from here.

  There’s only one place I want to be. I just have to decide if I’m willing to let the universe take me there.

  DEAN

  I’M SITTING ON my porch swing, waiting for the sun to set when I see a figure walking up the dirt driveway. When I stand up against the railing, I see that it’s Sawyer. Though it’s only been about a week since I’ve seen her, it amazes me how much pressure has built up in my chest. The sight of her immediately relieves it. She smiles timidly when she sees me and lifts her hand in a hesitant wave. My lips curve up in response.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey,” she says, a little out of breath.

  I wait until she’s closer to ask, “What are you doing here?” I’m not complaining, but it’s nearly a five-mile walk from her house.

  “I just… I went on a walk and found myself here.” She looks up at my house, the house I grew up in. The house that holds so many memories I wish I could forget. I ask myself every day why I haven’t sold it. I still can’t answer that. “It looks different.”

  My eyes remain on her. She’s wearing cut-off jean shorts and a yellow sweater. If I didn’t know better, under this light, I would have mistaken this Sawyer for the teenage, full of light and life Sawyer. I know she’s in there. Somewhere.

  “I cleaned it up a bit when I took over,” I say. “Replaced the siding and gave it a new paint job. It just needed a little love.”

  “The blue looks nice,” she says. “It’s got a little gray in it.”

  “Thanks.” I nod and pause. “Do you want to come in? I could get you some sweet tea. Got a cold pitcher of it in the fridge.”